Monday, December 10, 2007

The Weekend....Family Visits....etc........

We all have families....and with them come family responsibilities. Complex, complicated...and fraught with many mixed emotions. We get through these events with smiles, laughs, tears, regrets and a whole slew of emotions...which, I mostly attempt to avoid dealing with for fear that a conflict will arise that I just can not deal with at this time in my life. This time of year is filled with many such events.

My family is fraught with personalities that always seem to know what IS better for you, than you do. This judgement is usually made without discerning all the facts, with preconceived perceptions determined from one's childhood and with no allowance made for evolution of one's life and growth. It works like this, I say black and they most assuredly WILL say WHITE!

Through the years, I have come to realize that the best way to coexist with them is to NEVER, ask for their help. It is more effort than resolving things yourself and it usually results in little being accomplished. Dealing with UFO boyfriend is a similar experience.

My brother came to visit this weekend from Phoenix. He is my little brother. He is married to his second wife, a woman that I prefer to no longer associate. I have my reasons. He understands them. It still makes our relationship difficult. Other issues make our relationship difficult as well. I am never-the-less happy that he came to visit and that he helped me fix the foyer chandelier which, is now dust free with all the light bulbs working.

We spent all day Saturday together. We had $1 dogs at the Temperance House and a few beers, worked on some things at the house, got caught up, had beef stew.....and watched UFO boyfriend himself, show brother that he is NOT a good influence on my life....even though brother told me at the Temp, his perception was that UFO boyfriend had had a profound positive influence on my disposition. NOT!

UFO boyfriend is a disruptive influence on my existence. To explain, UFO boyfriend was supposed to be here around noon, he never showed up until 4pm. He was supposedly working on his many cars. I got upset and told him not to come. He shows up anyway. If I accept another date,I am concerned that he will show up and interrupt that other date. If I plan to do something else and get started, he interrupts this too. This is my dilemma. So much for changing your behavior as a method, for encouraging changed behavior from others....because, with some difficult people, this will NOT WORK EITHER!

This routine seems to occur every Saturday afternoon. I have no idea what he does, I just don't like it. I never know if he will come or not and am tired of the DRAMA that ensues and the anxiety it produces in my life. So here is brother actually beginning to accomplish an important task. UFO boyfriend, shows up and calls from the driveway, expecting me to stop everything and go outside and help him fix his broken headlight with phillips screwdrivers in tow. I say, come inside and say hello. I hand him the tools and say, I am busy, you are late and interrupting my progress. I have things to do and your problem is NOW yours. If you had come earlier, we might have addressed this as part of our day. He did not like it, but learnt that day, life was going to change.

It has to. Why is it that some people do not treat you with respect until you have a confrontation? Why do they require you to go to that extreme? It boggles my mind. If someone asks me to stop doing something that bothers them....I talk it through and make a choice as to whether I will comply or not. UFO boyfriend for some reason prefers to continue the drama and anxiety and disrespect of my time. He also, clearly ignores my request that he move on with his life, if this is the case. I am stumped on this one.

It is as if, I am invisible to him. Or we are having a relationship his way, whether I accept this or not. It is really an extraordinary situation, that I never can quite explain to others. However, now that brother agrees this is not so easy to diagnose, I feel better. Because he is right. UFO an anomaly and just another cross, I have to bear in my life these days.

So we had beef stew, that turned out great....and hop devil beer which, was wonderful....and listened to UFO boyfriend play his electric guitar....and watched three o'clock high a funny movie together...followed by Now, Voyager with Bette Davis.....I love Bette! Theme of both of these movies, lead character, pushed around by others....finally stands up, finds their balance, will to follow their own heart and changes their life, while ignoring what those around them think or believe ....and survives to become a stronger and much admired person. I think I will watch them again and knit and hope that somehow this rubs off on me.

Sunday, brother and I went to visit our uncle and our aunt. I was glad that we did, we had a good time. After which, we went out to Barnaby's in Havertown to watch football. The rams lost, the cardinals lost and the eagles lost. Not one of our teams won. We had fun. Came home and relaxed. I was exhausted from the entire weekend. I still am. I worked on a gift scarf all weekend. It is still not finished.

I met another knitter at the sports bar this weekend, she had on a beautiful yellow shawl she had made. If you are living near Barnaby's ( route 3 and 476 in Havertown area) and you read this blog, bring your knitting and come watch football with me....on Sunday afternoons.

The scarf I am making is similar to the UFO boyfriend scarf, but it has a different border pattern and is made out of mountain colors 4/5 wool. I am using #9 US circular bamboo needles. I like this diagonal rib pattern for the center part of the scarf. It is different and is masculine....and makes a good gift for the men in your life. I am also happy with the yarn that I am using, it is nice and soft.

Here is the progress of my sleeves for the sugar drop sweater. The pattern can be found in Knitting on the Edge by Nicky Epstein.

Knitting Tip:
Knit both sleeves at once on a circular needle. I find this the most expedient way to knit socks and sleeves or anything that you are in need of two of the same parts. It allows the reading of the pattern only once and there is no need to attempt to match the sizes by counting rows.

The illustration to the left, shows you how it works out. In this case, this yarn came skeined. So I had to wind it into a ball on my ball winder and only have one ball left. I am using both the outside string and the center pull string for each sleeve. Hopefully, I will be done with the sleeves by the weekend. This project is getting old with all the stockinette stitch....and is past its prime and ready to become a sweater that is worn.

Wishing you all a wonderful day,
Smiles to you,

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