Feedback For Male Cyberdaters.......

Okay, I will admit it......I am befuddled, befruzzaled, betwixt and between....never chatting with another cyber dater again........I have been contemplating this all morning, because when I absolutely would have rather spent my Saturday evening, with THE SILVER BELLE SLEEVE..... than out laughing and flirting at one of the nicest area restaurants, with a charming "Built like a Celt guy....who is man enough to wear a skirt...." I know there is something wrong.

........and to quote, Johnny Guitar Watson....." there is something wrong....something wrong...yes,there is".....but, What I said to myself this morning....WHAT?

First off, I think it is truly romantic, to quote Mel from Braveheart........and to even have a romantic fantasy that YOU ARE WILLIAM WALLACE....but, let's face facts, there was only one William Wallace and he is NOW dead....and as I type this, I just know that this post is going to haunt me......but, some things just need to be said.

I am constantly written to by men, who would like to take me out. They are always complaining that they write and write to women and have trouble meeting someone nice....and they do not have a clue as to why. I DO KNOW that, there is tons of stuff on the net, written about cyber dating etiquette...for men and women..........WHY NOT READ IT???? Try it out....if it does not work, you can always go back to your old routine.

I spent the first half hour of my date, waiting and waiting for HIM to show up. Now call me crazy, but isn't the woman supposed to be the one late....especially if her drive is 45 minutes...and his is 10 minutes?????? I am the one that is usually late! I knew then I was in trouble. Thank God for Merlot, and that it was good merlot.

First thing he says, after hello is DO I look like my photo?....well his photo had long hair....his was short. He was a lot a younger....did not have that triple chin or BIG BELLY.....so here I am....sipping my Merlot and wondering why I did not leave when the going was good......???

He must have asked me, five times if he looked like his photos? I confess, I LIED....I was hungry....I was already there. He spent half the evening, telling me how Celtic looking he was....the highlight was when he asked the waitress what nationality she thought he was....she was irish.....she said, "Scandinavian"....he was crushed.

Point to be made, It is not romantic, to discuss your looks for entire first date....or to solicit commentary from the waitress. Your mind should be on something else.

I finally asked, "Do I look like my photos?", since this seemed to be the one and only topic of the evening. I got, Yes, you are slender....a petite woman. Then he said, I like Big Women....and I thought, so what are you taking me out for????? HELLO.......I knew then, that even if, I wanted this date to go somewhere, it was not going anywhere that I wanted to be. Capische?

He did ask me, No, He said, I need a woman to help me find accoutrements for my apartment and unpack boxes,...... Will you help? I said, "what is the pay"......like I have nothing better to do than go out shopping for a man, in my free time..........I looked at him and said, forgive me, but I am still unpacking from two years ago.....and opening a new business....I am not looking for more chores to do.........

There was one good and shining moment of the evening.....olives stuffed with blue cheese...YUMMMMMM! Very good in a martini.

This date, goes on my list of all time worst dates.....I did not even order dessert!

.....and then people, wonder why an attractive woman like me is still single.....I guess that is because, I do not consider IT dating...... DOING YOUR CHORES, Cleaning up your messes, doing your laundry or the solicitation thereof.....I have enough of my own to do. Not to mention discussing these chores is about as far from romance as I can imagine....and I DO THINK WILLIAM WALLACE would agree.

I am NOT YOUR WIFE.....NOT YET....so stop treating me like I am.....if you need a maid, HIRE ONE.....if you need an errand girl, HIRE ONE........if you need an image consultant, HIRE ONE....but, please do not ask me out on the guise of a date.....to get my services for free. I did not get dressed up and drive out here for a JOB INTERVIEW....I am here for Romance ....ROMANCE....and if you do not know what this is, or have forgotten.....start reading here........

Then I wake up, make some coffee....with extra whipped cream...I needed the extra whipped cream this morning.........started to check out my emails and found this message from someone who would like to take me out........

"there is NOTHING LIKE A MATURE WOMAN THAT HAS KEPT HER youthful figure"....
please call me.........

Now, call me crazy, but, this is not one of the all time best, pick up lines for a first email......is it? No wonder guys write that they do not like meeting women in bars....THEY CAN'T...

Not with a pick up line like this......My thought is, if you can not meet a woman at a bar....then you are not going to have anymore luck online......

The worst part about all this, IS THESE MEN ARE MAKING UFO boyfriend....look good....and that should not be.

UFO boyfriend admits to drinking too much, not buying gifts, not showing up when he says he will, being confused, being unable to commit to anything but, getting to work on time, being difficult, vain and self-centered....being a player. But, at least he can carry on an intelligent discussion, has many interests and advocations.....and can tell a good joke or ten. I am worried that I will never meet the guy for me....these days. Maybe I am just looking in all the wrong places for love. I need help on this one.

I think I am going to start lying about my age. Mature woman with a youthful figure, that I am......where is THE SLEEVE????.....I am staying offline today and knitting THE SLEEVE....it will nurture me, it will keep me warm, it will make me feel beautiful, it will get me compliments, it won't be late....it won't waste my time.....it will be what it is....A sleeeve....and that is just fine with me. I can relate to the sleeve. I can not relate to men who are legends in their own minds........

We are all aging.....it happens while we sleep, while we work, while we eat, while we walk.....it happens, is happening, will happen........and all we can do about that is to accept it graciously...one day at a time.....Now how to do that well is the quest......

Lastly, I just want to say this, I like men...I really do....and the truth is, I am just wondering what happened to all the real men. Those traditional men....those chauvinistic men....those men like William Wallace, who really meant what they said....that were self sufficient, brave, courageous,and knew what they wanted....and went out to get it! Those men that respected women and knew how to treat them like women...

Happy Sunday........
smiles to you,
DC

I would rather Be home KNITTING!.... and Other Musings.......

well it was another banner weekend, on the cyber dating circuit......a friday nite date that showed up for dinner and drinks wearing jeans and those white, white, white...the kind that glow in the dark, sneakers.......or cross trainers...as if that makes wearing them on a Friday evening out to dinner with a girl you are trying to impress...seem more sophisticated....or is the thought for a guy, plausible?

I thought white shoes were only worn on the tennis court, gym....or after memorial day????

Then there was me, nice black above the knee dress, black stockings, and heels.....OOps....think lady and the tramp..........okay, so we still have possibilities....I mean they hit it off did they not? He was nice and funny, until we got to the part where he was engaged....and they broke it off, and she was mad because she wanted to keep the ring.....but, don't worry, I GOT IT BACK!!!!

ladies, ladies, ladies..........what are you going to do with that ring????? Wear it? Did you get engaged for the RING or the GUY?

But it gets better.......I got to wondering what he was going to do with it.... So I figured I would ask....

Soooooooo, I said, what are you going to do with it, sell it? No, I threw it in a drawer.....and? then, it just slipped out of my red lips......I hope you are not going to give that to some unsuspecting woman.....are YOU???? He said, yeah, well I would, but, today women want to pick out rings themselves.........and I am thinking, he has been through this before.....

My next question was, what if she finds out, three years after you marry her, that her ring, that she BELIEVES, that you selected JUST FOR HER.....was selected BY the previous fiance.....and you just figured, it would be fine for the replacement....fiance?

and his excuse, as he shrugs his shoulders, thinking, I wanted to get engaged....I needed an engagement ring to do that...and voila, there was that old one in my drawer, that no one was using..... PROBLEM SOLVED .....with minimum amount of effort and NO effect on CURRENT CASH FLOW..... GEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!

I wonder how many guys pawn off diamonds from their ex's onto their new girls?

I even solicited a few opinions from the gallery (bar)....on the subject matter....all of which, felt this was not a good idea.......including some men....

It was at this point, I was sure, that I would rather be home knitting alone....fantasizing about a Friday nite date......and still believing in potential romance.....at least I would eventually end up with something of
substance!

Now, what did Smokey the Bear say," it only takes ONE MATCH, to burn down an entire FOREST?" or months and months of courting a woman.....she finally falls for you, and you give her some ring that another woman selected for herself????....is it worth it??????

Why is it when relationships end, the guy is usually counting up the bucks he spent and trying to get the gifts he gave back? Does money spent represent love expended to men?

What happened to romance........? I always want to say, how's your heart doing? How long did it take for you to get over her? Did you? Or are you really saving the ring, thinking, she will be back......when she realizes, that she had it pretty good with me?

Have we become so jaded in today's world where the only issue is what material things did we get or expend......and not where we went wrong and whose heart we hurt? How can we grow from this experience?

UFO boyfriend, told me a similar thing....at least you got two years of dinners paid for you....that is something......making me wonder, where he was when we were having those dinners....one or two nights a week.........? or that, it was sheer drudgery to take me to those dinners that HE INVITED me to go to with him........? Is this how a man, defines time wasted, in terms of dollars spent?

Would you rather have slept with your bank book? I think I am getting jaded. There has to be one nice guy out there, who knows what it is to romance a woman.....and enjoys doing it, just for its own intrinsic value....and if it leads to a life time of romance and love....wow, that is great...and if it doesn't work out.....well........I had a good time....and was blessed to have her in my life...
as she was to have me in hers....for a time.

One man that looks forward to the future. That wants to build a New life of love....without all the fears and trappings from the past.........where are you ROMEO?

Oh, I forgot you and juliette had a little communication problem that resulted in DEATH....LOL! yuupppppppp....I think I am becoming a little jaded....in the romance department :-)

I think I will stick to my affair with my yarn stash.... :-)

Happy knitting, crocheting, spinning, weaving or whatever else makes your
heart sing.......

Smiles to you,
DC