I am just a big question mark.........

You Are a Question Mark

You seek knowledge and insight in every form possible. You love learning. And while you know a lot, you don't act like a know it all. You're open to learning you're wrong. You ask a lot of questions, collect a lot of data, and always dig deep to find out more. You're naturally curious and inquisitive. You jump to ask a question when the opportunity arises. Your friends see you as interesting, insightful, and thought provoking. (But they're not always up for the intense inquisitions that you love!) You excel in: Higher education You get along best with: The Comma

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

I guess this has been my big problem....I have been dating men instead of comma's....LOL!!! Now who knows where I can find a very handsome comma, that is finished with his ex?

Celebrities that look like MOI!!!!

This was fun......try it!




and this from another photo:

Where has February gone.....

February, traditionally known as the month of romance...is almost gone and even with an extra day, this year, only one week remains. It is snowing here in Bucks County this morning....real snow finally. Our first substantial snow this winter. I am looking at the flakes fall from my fiber studio window. It is lovely. It is quiet.... I like snow! I just may get the old flexible flyer out this year and take a few runs down the hill behind my home....

I did a little shoveling, this morning. Will go back out in a bit, to do more. A bit at a time. Brought in some firewood to dry in my garage, for a fire and some knitting this evening. I am contemplating soup. I found some Sante Fe Corn Chowder soup mix...and I have the fixings to add...for my dinner. I am envisioning a quiet evening, warm, tv and my fibers. This is my romance for now. I am content.

No UFO boyfriend, to torture my heart and soul. It has been a long road... but, to quote BB King.....the thrill is long gone. I want happiness...I want peace and contentment. I want stability and sanity in my life...and
those that do not fit that simple criteria, no longer have a place in my life. This is a conscious decision I have made this month. No going back... No being dragged back into that drama....never again.

How did this come about? I spoke to his ex. She told me she is now happily married to a nice guy, after two years of therapy. Need I say more. She said, people are what they are....decide what you want and go out and find him. He is there, you are just not looking in the right places. Stop lying to yourself, or wishing an apple was an orange.

Which got me to thinking....is that why some of my projects end up in the UFO heap....were they apples that I wanted to be oranges....and I put them aside, hoping one day when I open that old knitting bag, they will some how miraculously have turned into oranges with time? Taking up space and knitting tools, that could be used to start a new project....that might be the orange....instead of the apple, I did not want.

...My thought is UFO's, just need to be FROGGED....at a certain age? They represent old dreams....and leave no room for new dreams. Holding onto to something, just because you are afraid to face the time and effort invested, was not worthwhile, is not productive either.

I am wondering, how many of these UFO's in my studio, need to be unraveled to begin again....with a new plan....and new concept....a new dream. When do we determine the time is right to Unravel old dreams and find new ones. A year, three years...five? When do you decide a UFO is just that a UFO....and accept, it as a failure that can become a new success....if you start over?

Happy Friday......
Smiles to you,
DC

I would rather Be home KNITTING!.... and Other Musings.......

well it was another banner weekend, on the cyber dating circuit......a friday nite date that showed up for dinner and drinks wearing jeans and those white, white, white...the kind that glow in the dark, sneakers.......or cross trainers...as if that makes wearing them on a Friday evening out to dinner with a girl you are trying to impress...seem more sophisticated....or is the thought for a guy, plausible?

I thought white shoes were only worn on the tennis court, gym....or after memorial day????

Then there was me, nice black above the knee dress, black stockings, and heels.....OOps....think lady and the tramp..........okay, so we still have possibilities....I mean they hit it off did they not? He was nice and funny, until we got to the part where he was engaged....and they broke it off, and she was mad because she wanted to keep the ring.....but, don't worry, I GOT IT BACK!!!!

ladies, ladies, ladies..........what are you going to do with that ring????? Wear it? Did you get engaged for the RING or the GUY?

But it gets better.......I got to wondering what he was going to do with it.... So I figured I would ask....

Soooooooo, I said, what are you going to do with it, sell it? No, I threw it in a drawer.....and? then, it just slipped out of my red lips......I hope you are not going to give that to some unsuspecting woman.....are YOU???? He said, yeah, well I would, but, today women want to pick out rings themselves.........and I am thinking, he has been through this before.....

My next question was, what if she finds out, three years after you marry her, that her ring, that she BELIEVES, that you selected JUST FOR HER.....was selected BY the previous fiance.....and you just figured, it would be fine for the replacement....fiance?

and his excuse, as he shrugs his shoulders, thinking, I wanted to get engaged....I needed an engagement ring to do that...and voila, there was that old one in my drawer, that no one was using..... PROBLEM SOLVED .....with minimum amount of effort and NO effect on CURRENT CASH FLOW..... GEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!

I wonder how many guys pawn off diamonds from their ex's onto their new girls?

I even solicited a few opinions from the gallery (bar)....on the subject matter....all of which, felt this was not a good idea.......including some men....

It was at this point, I was sure, that I would rather be home knitting alone....fantasizing about a Friday nite date......and still believing in potential romance.....at least I would eventually end up with something of
substance!

Now, what did Smokey the Bear say," it only takes ONE MATCH, to burn down an entire FOREST?" or months and months of courting a woman.....she finally falls for you, and you give her some ring that another woman selected for herself????....is it worth it??????

Why is it when relationships end, the guy is usually counting up the bucks he spent and trying to get the gifts he gave back? Does money spent represent love expended to men?

What happened to romance........? I always want to say, how's your heart doing? How long did it take for you to get over her? Did you? Or are you really saving the ring, thinking, she will be back......when she realizes, that she had it pretty good with me?

Have we become so jaded in today's world where the only issue is what material things did we get or expend......and not where we went wrong and whose heart we hurt? How can we grow from this experience?

UFO boyfriend, told me a similar thing....at least you got two years of dinners paid for you....that is something......making me wonder, where he was when we were having those dinners....one or two nights a week.........? or that, it was sheer drudgery to take me to those dinners that HE INVITED me to go to with him........? Is this how a man, defines time wasted, in terms of dollars spent?

Would you rather have slept with your bank book? I think I am getting jaded. There has to be one nice guy out there, who knows what it is to romance a woman.....and enjoys doing it, just for its own intrinsic value....and if it leads to a life time of romance and love....wow, that is great...and if it doesn't work out.....well........I had a good time....and was blessed to have her in my life...
as she was to have me in hers....for a time.

One man that looks forward to the future. That wants to build a New life of love....without all the fears and trappings from the past.........where are you ROMEO?

Oh, I forgot you and juliette had a little communication problem that resulted in DEATH....LOL! yuupppppppp....I think I am becoming a little jaded....in the romance department :-)

I think I will stick to my affair with my yarn stash.... :-)

Happy knitting, crocheting, spinning, weaving or whatever else makes your
heart sing.......

Smiles to you,
DC

Happy NEW YEAR.....better late than never

.....wow, did this month fly by or what? I have been so busy with the holidays
and life, that I have not had a chance to post to, this here, blog.

So what has been going on, here is a list:

1. knitted several gifts for the holidays....and at the last minute....

2. almost got killed in my ford expeditioner, when the brakes failed
promptly after the car was inspected. Nice. If you own a ford,
please go have your brake lines inspected, there is no known
maintenance program for their replacement, per my questioning
of my dealership.

if you do not own a ford truck and see one behind you, pull over and
let it pass, because the brakes could go out at any time , if the brake
lines have not been replaced. Nothing like a near death experience
to help you get your priorities in order.

3. Broke up with UFO boyfriend on xmas day....not that we were having
much of a relationship lately, but the illusion, clearly, gave me something
although, other than a migraine and low self esteem, I am not sure.

For those thinking of ending one of your relationships, you might want
to check this site out.

4. My cousin had a diving accident in the bahamas, I am his medical proxy...
the medical drama went on for 10 days. Please if you are reading this post
get your affairs in order. Will, living will, notebook filled with relevant
information for your beneficiaries, safety deposit keys, bank accounts,
insurance policies....etc. I still have not done this myself, but it is very
much on my mind.

Accidents happen. If you care about your loved ones you will help
make this sort of situaion, even easier on them.....because it is quite stressful.

I am happy to say, the coz came out of his coma, but is still struggling
with pneumonia....and is back in the hospital since last Thursday. I wish
him well and am praying for him....

5. My aunt ended up in the hospital last week as well. I am also her
medical proxy. Needless to say, being responsible for two people
at the same time, was a bit overwhelming. She went home yesterday.

6. knitting content....I finished my nicky epstein sweater...no photos
taken. I like it but, the shoulders are too big. I am working on a
ribbed summer sweater with that blue heron cotton beaded yarn
in the colorway called seaweed. no UFO's have been completed.
I am focused on doing one project at a time. I feel good about
this change.

7. You can make free lance money from your photos here...

wishing you a great and fabulous evening,
smiles to you,
DC

The Weekend....Family Visits....etc........

We all have families....and with them come family responsibilities. Complex, complicated...and fraught with many mixed emotions. We get through these events with smiles, laughs, tears, regrets and a whole slew of emotions...which, I mostly attempt to avoid dealing with for fear that a conflict will arise that I just can not deal with at this time in my life. This time of year is filled with many such events.

My family is fraught with personalities that always seem to know what IS better for you, than you do. This judgement is usually made without discerning all the facts, with preconceived perceptions determined from one's childhood and with no allowance made for evolution of one's life and growth. It works like this, I say black and they most assuredly WILL say WHITE!

Through the years, I have come to realize that the best way to coexist with them is to NEVER, ask for their help. It is more effort than resolving things yourself and it usually results in little being accomplished. Dealing with UFO boyfriend is a similar experience.

My brother came to visit this weekend from Phoenix. He is my little brother. He is married to his second wife, a woman that I prefer to no longer associate. I have my reasons. He understands them. It still makes our relationship difficult. Other issues make our relationship difficult as well. I am never-the-less happy that he came to visit and that he helped me fix the foyer chandelier which, is now dust free with all the light bulbs working.

We spent all day Saturday together. We had $1 dogs at the Temperance House and a few beers, worked on some things at the house, got caught up, had beef stew.....and watched UFO boyfriend himself, show brother that he is NOT a good influence on my life....even though brother told me at the Temp, his perception was that UFO boyfriend had had a profound positive influence on my disposition. NOT!

UFO boyfriend is a disruptive influence on my existence. To explain, UFO boyfriend was supposed to be here around noon, he never showed up until 4pm. He was supposedly working on his many cars. I got upset and told him not to come. He shows up anyway. If I accept another date,I am concerned that he will show up and interrupt that other date. If I plan to do something else and get started, he interrupts this too. This is my dilemma. So much for changing your behavior as a method, for encouraging changed behavior from others....because, with some difficult people, this will NOT WORK EITHER!

This routine seems to occur every Saturday afternoon. I have no idea what he does, I just don't like it. I never know if he will come or not and am tired of the DRAMA that ensues and the anxiety it produces in my life. So here is brother actually beginning to accomplish an important task. UFO boyfriend, shows up and calls from the driveway, expecting me to stop everything and go outside and help him fix his broken headlight with phillips screwdrivers in tow. I say, come inside and say hello. I hand him the tools and say, I am busy, you are late and interrupting my progress. I have things to do and your problem is NOW yours. If you had come earlier, we might have addressed this as part of our day. He did not like it, but learnt that day, life was going to change.

It has to. Why is it that some people do not treat you with respect until you have a confrontation? Why do they require you to go to that extreme? It boggles my mind. If someone asks me to stop doing something that bothers them....I talk it through and make a choice as to whether I will comply or not. UFO boyfriend for some reason prefers to continue the drama and anxiety and disrespect of my time. He also, clearly ignores my request that he move on with his life, if this is the case. I am stumped on this one.

It is as if, I am invisible to him. Or we are having a relationship his way, whether I accept this or not. It is really an extraordinary situation, that I never can quite explain to others. However, now that brother agrees this is not so easy to diagnose, I feel better. Because he is right. UFO boyfriend....is an anomaly and just another cross, I have to bear in my life these days.

So we had beef stew, that turned out great....and hop devil beer which, was wonderful....and listened to UFO boyfriend play his electric guitar....and watched three o'clock high a funny movie together...followed by Now, Voyager with Bette Davis.....I love Bette! Theme of both of these movies, lead character, pushed around by others....finally stands up, finds their balance, will to follow their own heart and changes their life, while ignoring what those around them think or believe ....and survives to become a stronger and much admired person. I think I will watch them again and knit and hope that somehow this rubs off on me.


Sunday, brother and I went to visit our uncle and our aunt. I was glad that we did, we had a good time. After which, we went out to Barnaby's in Havertown to watch football. The rams lost, the cardinals lost and the eagles lost. Not one of our teams won. We had fun. Came home and relaxed. I was exhausted from the entire weekend. I still am. I worked on a gift scarf all weekend. It is still not finished.

I met another knitter at the sports bar this weekend, she had on a beautiful yellow shawl she had made. If you are living near Barnaby's ( route 3 and 476 in Havertown area) and you read this blog, bring your knitting and come watch football with me....on Sunday afternoons.

The scarf I am making is similar to the UFO boyfriend scarf, but it has a different border pattern and is made out of mountain colors 4/5 wool. I am using #9 US circular bamboo needles. I like this diagonal rib pattern for the center part of the scarf. It is different and is masculine....and makes a good gift for the men in your life. I am also happy with the yarn that I am using, it is nice and soft.



Here is the progress of my sleeves for the sugar drop sweater. The pattern can be found in Knitting on the Edge by Nicky Epstein.

Knitting Tip:
Knit both sleeves at once on a circular needle. I find this the most expedient way to knit socks and sleeves or anything that you are in need of two of the same parts. It allows the reading of the pattern only once and there is no need to attempt to match the sizes by counting rows.

The illustration to the left, shows you how it works out. In this case, this yarn came skeined. So I had to wind it into a ball on my ball winder and only have one ball left. I am using both the outside string and the center pull string for each sleeve. Hopefully, I will be done with the sleeves by the weekend. This project is getting old with all the stockinette stitch....and is past its prime and ready to become a sweater that is worn.

Wishing you all a wonderful day,
Smiles to you,
DC

Yipes........its.....Chanukah...the Fourth Night....

I love this holiday....I love to light the candles each night....I love it even better, when I am dating someone that actually enjoys giving gifts. Sadly....UFO boyfriend is a total GRINCH!!! He needs to be replaced...does
he not???? He has never even bought me a flower...although, one day last spring, he did pick some beautiful white flowers from a tree for me, which was sweet! and surprised the heck out of me!

Actually, most of my girlfriends are dating men that are selfish and cheap. They are cute and successful, but expect to date a girl for the rest of their lives, without making an investment or a committment. Where are the nice guys? Are you out there, because I know several very attractive women that would be interested.

One of the worst moments of Thanksgiving Day weekend was the single's party at the Buck Hotel, when my girlfriend turned to me and said....where are all the attractive men? I looked around...and I had to agree, there were none. It sort of made me happy to be with UFO boyfriend....but, that was just a moment of INSANITY.

We having been talking about this, since last week and we are working on preparing a list of what we want in a MAN....besides the obvious attributes and equipment :-) Have you ever done this? It makes sense, because before you get upset that you can't find what you want in a man....make sure that , THAT YOU KNOW WHAT you want and it is in the forefront of your mind. We each got that advice from a male FRIEND....and it is good advice.

The next question is where do you meet a good man when you are 50 and over. Trust me Match.com is not the answer....or let us just say it is not working for me. I keep getting mail from men that should consider signing up for that Extreme Makeover show. I told one of them the other day, that I did not think we would make a good match, but thank you for taking the time to write to me. It was a very kind and sweet letter.

His response, " sorry, YOU DO NOT THINK!"

Now who wants to date a rude man like that. You can not expect everyone to be attracted to you. Chemistry is a rare and beautiful thing. I told one guy, I went out with who was separated and made nasty comments about his wife, who was the mother of his three children, that when he left this date, he should find any florist and buy at least a dozen bouquets of roses. Find his wife and beg her to take him back. After, child support and alimony, that guy would be lucky to afford a cardboard box to live in....let alone taking a date once a week to mickey D's for dinner. He could not afford to divorce her on his salary.

Match is filled with men, that seem to have financial problems, have young children who will not leave home til they are 72, men who think they are still looking 35 when they are at least 60, men who have not gotten a new outfit since 1976, men who forgot their table manners, men who have never been married...and we know why...LOL!!!, men who are reliving their college frat days, men that think a fun date is sitting in their PJ's and talking to you on the phone all night long and men that are obsessed with younger women.

If you are thinking of divorcing your husband, and he is an okay guy....just not thrilling you lately....think again. Hold on to that good guy....because good guys are hard to find. I sadly, did not have this option.

My ex was real head case.

Where can a nice girl, meet a nice respectful kind man these days? If you kno a good guy for me....please send him my way. I need help, I have been looking for four years and still have not found what I am looking for....now didn't someone write a song with that title?

Wishing you all a very Happy Chanukah filled with eight days of lots of fiber goodies.......
Smiles to you,
Deborah